Short Story: Showdown at Bugle Island

October 8, 2019October 13, 2019 ~ Jack ~ 7 Comments

Clasping his boat’s anchor, Luke Lowery waded through Mississippi Sound’s gentle surf, dragging his long wooden boat behind him. His friend Henry Edwards sloshed ahead, up onto Bugle Island’s sunbaked sand. Fiddler crabs scurried into their holes; salty air flushed his sinuses. The cackle of gulls, the splashing of leaping mullets and the waves washing ashore, nature’s aquatic symphony, nudged his worries to the cold, dark recesses of his mind.

Anticipation rolled through him. A weekend of camping, floundering, and fishing awaited, his favorite summer activity during his rare weekends off. This sure beat getting kicked around at work. Most important, though, it granted him the time he needed to consider switching occupations. If he didn’t reach a decision by Monday, he’d lose the opportunity for a pleasanter desk job.

Two days ago, his potential employer promised him the weekend to consider his new job offer. Was it worth the decent money he earned, though he got shoved around, or should he quit and accept this new job offer with its leaner paycheck? Desk jobs could be boring, but—

“Luke!” Henry yelled. “Toss it to me!”

Luke tossed the anchor toward him underhanded and continued wading through the warm surf to the beach.

Henry, a short, wiry man who sported a neat, waist-length red beard reminiscent of a Civil War soldier, jammed the anchor’s flukes into the sand. With his right foot, he pounded them in deeper.

Luke’s gaze followed an osprey circling a white cabin cruiser that rode at anchor some twenty yards east. A man whose bulging muscles practically burst apart his red tee shirt stood in its stern watching them through binoculars. He wore an out of the past haircut—a flattop.

“That guy dropped anchor a few minutes ago,” Henry said.

“I saw him.”

“You know the guy?”

Though the man looked familiar, Luke shook his head. “Don’t think so.” It couldn’t be him, not after all these years. Could it? He hoped not. High school memories. Bad memories. Growing up in Theodore, Alabama had been no easy task for him. “Let’s get our gear and make camp. Then we’ll do some fishing.”

Henry followed him back to their boat.

Sitting cross-legged on a dune while rummaging through hooks and lures in his tackle box, Luke found his stringer for his catch.

Henry sauntered to water’s edge where the beach turned moist and dark due to the inbound waves. He made a practice cast as the surf receded from his ankles. “All set?” He reeled in his line.

“Ready.” Luke stood and stuffed his stringer into his jeans pocket. He picked up his rod, tackle box, and metal bait bucket full of shrimp they’d caught by trolling a net on their way here.

Before they turned to go, a deep voice boomed from a dune behind them. “What’d you think you’re doin’, Lukey baby?”

Luke’s heart drummed hard. So it was him on that cabin cruiser. “Fishing, Chuckey.”

“Hey, buddy. Look at me when I’m talking to you.”

Luke did so in no great panic. He slouched, trying to appear indifferent to Chuck Bates’s arrival. In reality, he wished the big ox hadn’t showed up. Now his trip was ruined.

Chuck’s beady black eyes flashed from his weathered face. “This is my fishin’ spot. Got that?” Chuck raised his ham fist, strode down the dune, and brushed it across Luke’s face. “You and your l’il pal get to the other side of the island.”

Luke blinked, his nemesis’s knuckles practically touching his nose. “Henry and I are going. We’re leaving our boat where it is if that’s all right with you.”

“Yeah, Lukey baby. Just so you ain’t fishin’ in my spot.”

“Now don’t you go worry your ugly little head about that none. We ain’t fishin’ in your spot.” Henry spoke sarcastically.

“Shut that smart mouth of yours, l’il man. I’m headin’ back to my boat for my fishin’ gear, and if I see either of you here when I get back—”

“Yeah, yeah. We’re going.” Luke waved him off.

“Reckon you do know him, then.” Henry followed Luke over the dunes toward the island’s Gulf side.

“Wasn’t sure at first, but yeah, I know him.”

“Why’d you take that business from him?”

Luke kept his eyes straight ahead. He had his reasons. Nobody’s business why he took it from him. “Maybe we’ll catch more fish than Chuck.”

“You’re not going to answer my question?”

“No.”

Ten minutes later, on the island’s opposite side, they baited their hooks, waded into the Gulf thigh-deep, and cast their lines.

Luke debated whether or not he should accept the job offer. His mind chugged through and around every angle, the plusses and minuses of each job. But every time he neared a decision, Chuck Bates’s image jumped onto his mental rails and smacked his train of thought right off its tracks. Obviously, though they were both in their forties, Chuck never outgrew the bully stage. Pity the people who made him angry.

In high school, Chuck called him worse names than Lukey. He’d accused him of stealing his gym clothes, something he did not do, which resulted in Chuck failing physical education. He became a laughing-stock for that “F.” Despite Luke’s denials, Chuck cornered him against the lockers one day after school.

“Meet me at the park,” Chuck said, his breath so foul Luke wondered if he’d brushed his teeth.

At the park, fists flying, they went at each other. Within minutes, Chuck almost pummeled him senseless.

“Looka, Luke! I got one!” Henry’s excited voice jerked Luke out of his musings.

Henry reeled faster, till his catch dangled mid-air off his hook.

“He’ll fit the frying pan,” Luke said.

“My frying pan.” Henry lowered his rod and started working the fish off the hook.

Luke reeled in his line. “Whatever.”

Once they caught their legal limit Luke and Henry, weaving over and between dunes, pounded sand back to their boat. Luke dragged his stringer-load of fish behind him. Atop one dune, amidst sea oats, their stride broke at events below them. They gasped. Two men faced Chuck. A beanpole of a man aimed a pistol at him. A short, muscular man’s filet knife pointed at Chuck’s stomach.

Chuck waved his fists and shouted something unintelligible at them.

The pistol man closed in, then slapped his face.

Luke and Henry swapped glances.

“What’s going on?” Henry asked.

Luke dropped his stringer.

“Maybe we should call the police.” Henry pulled his phone from his shirt pocket and took it out of its waterproof case.

“Yeah. Do that.” Luke assessed the situation. Despite having as much love for Chuck as he did a rattlesnake, his sense of honor trumped his ill will toward his childhood foe. “Stay here, Henry.”

“But—” Henry tapped in the marine police’s number.

“Stay here, I said. Come running if it looks like I need you.” Luke proceeded toward Chuck, cupped his hands around his mouth, and yelled, “You fellers caught any fish today?”

The armed men swiveled toward him. Cruelty contorted their bronze countenances.

Luke grinned at the man holding the pistol. “Hey, mister, what’s with your Nerf gun?”

“Shut up, Lukey.” Chuck quivered, fear and rage rumbling through his husky voice.

Luke gestured at the shorter man’s knife. “I caught my limit today. May I borrow your knife to clean ’em?”

“You’d better shut up.” Chuck’s voice was even-toned. “Mario ain’t playin’ no games.”

“Oh? You’re Mario?” Thumb up and forefinger extended like a pistol, Luke aimed it at the beanpole man. “Bang.”

“You’d better listen to your friend.” Mario’s pistol targeted Luke’s chest.

Luke eyed the gun. “Guess I’d better listen then, eh, Mario?” Then he leapt into the air, his left foot slamming Mario’s ribcage before his gun discharged skyward. Mario staggered backward; his pistol dropped from his hand. Luke’s ninety-to-nothing follow-up punch crumpled him, unconscious, on the sand.

The knife-man slashed at him. Luke dodged then planted another foot in his ribcage followed by a one-two knockout punch for good measure.

Chuck’s jaw went slack. “Where’d you learn to do that?”

“Took up martial arts after that day you beat the daylights out of me. I kept it a secret in case you tried something again. Go get a rope out of my boat. We’ll tie ‘em up before they come to.”

By this time, Henry joined them. He slid his phone back inside his shirt pocket. “The police are on their way.”

Chuck’s expression softened. “I’m indebted to you, Luke.”

Luke kicked a piece of driftwood. “No big deal. Who are these guys?”

“They claimed they were runnin’ from the cops when their boat broke down on the island’s west end. They wanted my keys so they could swipe mine.” Chuck sauntered to Luke’s boat and returned with two thin white ropes, which he and Luke used to tie the criminals’ hands behind their backs.

“Guess it appears I’ll keep my current job.” Luke studied the unconscious criminals sprawled face down. “In times like these, it pays to get kicked around.”

Chuck scratched his head. “Kicked around? What’d you talkin’ about?”

“A karate school in Bay Minette. I’m an assistant teacher there, and I’m also a blackbelt. Was going to change jobs, but kids need to know how to defend themselves. You taught me that after you scrambled my brains. Got tired of letting those kids kick and punch me during practice, but well, I guess what happened today proves it’s worth it.”

Chuck laughed, as did Luke and Henry.

Roaring motors caught their attention. The marine police must’ve been looking for the bad guys in the area because their two patrol boats approached the beach at top speed.

Luke extended his hand. “If it weren’t for what you did years ago, I never would’ve learned how to fight.” Grips firm, he and Chuck shook hands.

The End

Making the Goals

September 23, 2019September 23, 2019 ~ Jack ~ 2 Comments

During my high school years, I ran cross-country. It took me several weeks of hard work before I could run several miles without stopping. I’d arise before sunup with my teammates, and each day I’d set a personal goal. First, I ran to a certain telephone pole, stop for a breather, then resume my run toward the next goal. For a couple or three days, I did this, then I’d set a more challenging goal, pushing myself hard till I reached it. Of course, I’d stop for breathers. Before long, I reached the point where I could run several miles at a stretch.

To be a successful (and productive) writer, we need goals, too.

First, a writer needs short-range goals. Such goals should be reasonable and achievable. If the goals are too high, and we don’t achieve them, it makes room for discouragement to settle in. These short-term goals should be daily goals. For example: “I’ll write three pages a day,” “I’ll write five hundred words a day,” or something similar.

Mid-range goals are weekly and monthly goals. Short-term goals should target mid-range goals. If we’re working on a 2,000 word short story, for instance, make an achievable goal of writing five hundred words a day and by week’s end, the story will be written. In the case of my novel writing, I tend to write in scenes. I have a goal of writing at least one scene a week. I write my first draft in a manner most writers don’t—I revise while I write. However, writing books and writing teachers generally discourage this. Since this method works for me, though…hey, I do it!

Which brings me to long-range goals. These are goals writers hope to achieve within a few months or a year. They set short-term and mid-range goals toward achieving their ultimate objective. Want to write a book? Take small steps toward that goal. Determine to write at least one page every day, and by the end of the year a book will be written.

What happens if short-term and mid-rage goals aren’t met? Professional writers understand that things happen. On days when they don’t reach their goals, they plow ahead the next day. They refuse to let discouragement get the better of them.

Finally, writers use a daily planner and write down their writing goals for each week, or if not this, they use other scheduling methods such as bulletin boards, white boards, or planners on their computers. This helps them track their goal-making progress.

So set some writing goals today, and move forward with your craft!

Metaphors, Part 2, Types of Metaphors

September 18, 2019 ~ Jack ~ 2 Comments

A freshly phrased metaphor used in the correct spot in our narrative can not only touch our readers’ emotions and add depth to our story, it can also paint a more vivid description. In this post, I’ll touch on three types of metaphors, though many more types are out there in the literary world.

The Absolute Metaphor.

Definition: The tenor (subject of the metaphor) has no connection with the subject’s vehicle (image used in the metaphor).

Example: John is a ticking time bomb.

There is no connection between John and a time bomb. He won’t literally explode. John’s metaphorical explosion, however, might be building to a fit of rage. So there is the connection–an explosion of rage and a bomb’s explosion.

The Mixed Metaphor

Avoid using this one.

Definition: A mixed metaphor combines two or more metaphors that have no logical connection to each other.

Example: Don’t count your chickens before they hatch and swim away.

Chickens hatch, but they don’t swim. Thus, I mixed two images, chickens and fish. We see no logical connection between them.

The Extended Metaphor

Definition: These metaphors extend for longer periods in a sentence, paragraph, or page by using two or more parallels between two unlike things. They’re often found in poetry.

Example: Robert Frost’s poem, “The Runaway.”

Frost uses a horse experiencing his first snow and the fear that he experiences to represent a fearful child who has run away from home with no one to comfort him.

To read this poem and hear it read, visit this link: https://www.poemhunter.com/poem/the-runaway-11/

I hope this little series on metaphors has been helpful. Thanks for visiting!

https://www.poemhunter.com/poem/the-runaway-11/

Metaphors, Part One, Anatomy of a Metaphor

September 11, 2019 ~ Jack ~ Leave a comment

Figures of speech add spice to our writing. And they’re fun to write. What is a figure of speech? It’s wording something in such a way that it shouldn’t be taken literally. For example:

John is a ticking time bomb.

John isn’t literally a ticking time bomb, but metaphorically he is if he’s about to “explode with rage.”

Metaphors are the strongest of all figures of speech, and they come in many types. If they’re written well, they’ll draw us deeper into our story because they’ll touch our emotions.

What is a metaphor? A metaphor compares two different things, saying one thing (or person or place) is something else.

Using our above example, let’s analyze a metaphor. It consists of two parts, the tenor and the vehicle. These terms were coined by famous English poet and rhetorician, I.A. Richards (1893-1979), in his work The Philosophy of Rhetoric.

John is a ticking time bomb.

Here, John is the tenor: the subject of the metaphor. And he’s compared to the vehicle, time bomb: the metaphor’s image.

We’ll delve deeper into metaphors next week.

On Writing: Ernest Hemingway

August 26, 2019 ~ Jack ~ 2 Comments

**Hemingway Writing For Whom the Bell Toll**s

“All good books are alike in that they are truer than if they had really happened and after you are finished reading one you will feel that all that happened to you and afterwards it all belongs to you: the good and the bad, the ecstasy, the remorse and sorrow, the people and the places and how the weather was. If you can get so that you can give that to people, then you are a writer.” Taken from “Old Newsman Writes,” Esquire, December 1934.

A Literary Shock

July 29, 2019August 14, 2019 ~ Jack ~ 8 Comments

The other day, I did something I’ve never done before. I took a book back to a bookstore for a refund. Usually, when I buy a book and end up not liking it, I toss it in the trash. But this book was an expensive hardback. Knowing how much money I’d wasted, I couldn’t relax till I got it back.

This book’s poor formatting and editing shocked me, but what shocked me even more was its high Amazon ranking and its claim to have won an award. It held loads of five-star reviews. In fact, most of its numerous reviews were five-stars. One three-star review stood out, though, because I agreed with the reviewer. The book needed some serious editing.

What was wrong with the formatting? The pages looked like someone just printed them off their computer’s printer—no justified right margins, no professional-looking fonts.

What was wrong with the writing? Here are a few issues I found:

Some sentences ended with double punctuation marks, such as “?!”
Other sentences were cut off, leaving only a phrase or a clause
Characters “smirked” way too often.
Some sections of dialogue were too long, and much of it was poorly written.
Too many adjectives were strung together to modify one noun.
The characters were flat.

There may even be more things wrong, but I couldn’t get past the second chapter. Some reviewers said the second half of the book got better, so perhaps I’m not being fair. I just know that when I saw all these basic editing oversights and the poor formatting, my interest quickly waned.

Two positives about the book:

The prelude was excellent, which is why the chapters which followed were such a disappointment.
The taglines were well-done. The author often used the simple words “said” and “asked.”

Will we ever write a perfect book, free of all grammar, punctuation and spelling mistakes? No. We’re human, after all. I know I have a few mistakes in some of my published work. However, if mistakes riddle our pages they becomes a serious issue.

However, my experience should teach all of us indie authors to work hard to make our work as professional as possible lest someone like me asks for a refund on our book.

Procrastination: One Writer’s Thoughts

July 8, 2019August 2, 2019 ~ Jack ~ 3 Comments

“I’ll do it tomorrow.”

How many times have we heard that statement, or a similar one? I’ve said it before, so I plead guilty. However, if we expect to succeed as a professional writer, we can’t afford “to do it tomorrow.” We must write. And we must do it today, not tomorrow, because when tomorrow comes we’ll likely repeat that same mantra. Hard study and work, these are the keys to making it as a writer.

In fact, so important is hard work that the Bible’s Book of Wisdom (aka Proverbs) repeats the need for diligence twice:“[Yet] a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to sleep: So shall thy poverty come as one that travelleth, and thy want as an armed man” (Proverbs 6:10-11, KJV). In Proverbs 24:33-34, we read these exact same words.

As writers, then, let’s not be lazy. Let’s not procrastinate. The only way we’ll sell our articles and stories and books is to write them, then submit them to agents and publishers. Here are a few of my thoughts on the subject.

DON’T BE INTIMIDATED BY FAILURE. See it as something positive. Often the best way to learn and grow is through failure, for it is through failure that we discover mistakes and learn how to correct them. These lessons learned can then be applied to our manuscripts. Failure is not failure unless we allow it to be. Use it as a learning experience

HAVE PASSION. Without passion, nothing ever gets done, or if it does, it’s not done well. I see three ways to address this issue. (a) Start writing anyway, and see if passion begins driving us. Sometimes it will. (b) Ask the Lord to put a passion within us if writing is His will. (3) Quit writing. If passion never comes, there’s no sense in trying to write professionally. Writing requires lots of time, lots of sacrifice, and lots of mental “elbow grease.” Those without passion are those who procrastinate.

NEVER SAY “I’M NOT GOOD ENOUGH.” Only literary geniuses write professionally “overnight.” For most of us, learning to write professionally takes a long time. The only way we’ll get good enough is to write every day. Once we understand this, we’ll be less likely to procrastinate

DON’T GET INTIMIDATED. If a big writing project looks overwhelming, don’t get intimidated. Tackle it! How? A little at a time. Write a certain amount each day – a certain number of words, a certain number of pages, a certain number of chapters – whatever works. Eventually, the project will reach its end. If a deadline is involved, figure out how much can be done each day to reach the deadline, then write accordingly.

Don’t put things off, friends. Tap those laptop keys. Till next week!

Beats, Part 2: Character Enhancement

July 1, 2019July 3, 2019 ~ Jack ~ 2 Comments

Last week, I discussed the dangers of overusing beats. Though we must use them, we must also be careful to place them at the right spots in our narrative’s dialogue.

Another “beat issue” we need to avoid is this: writing trite. Trite words and phrases and figures of speech are easy to spot. They’re the first things that come to our mind while we write. Why? Because we’ve heard them so much and read them so often, they’re stored in our subconscious and usually pop out on the page during our writing process. Using them in our first draft is fine, but we do well to change them during our revision.

What are some trite beats? A few examples: he smiled, she shrugged, he laughed, she giggled, he clenched his fists, she sighed, he frowned, etc.

Personally, I think using such beats occasionally is fine, but they shouldn’t be prevalent in our story.

Good beats enhance our characters. They are fresh, original. Through well written beats, readers gain a better understanding of our story’s actors, which is why we need to know them intimately ourselves. Readers will observe their personalities, quirks, character traits, likes and dislikes, etc.

Here are a few examples:

John spooned the whipped cream off his strawberry shortcake and disposed of it in a sandwich bag. He wrung his hands. “Ah, now I can enjoy my dessert.”

Here, instead of telling readers in a straightforward manner that John doesn’t like whipped cream, they first see this by his beat and then by implication through his dialogue.

“I’ll be back.” Jane crept over to a corner in the library, pulled out her cell phone and punched in the number. The sign at the library’s entrance said “no cell phones.” Well, she wouldn’t get caught.

Here, we learn that Jane doesn’t abide by the rules. The library she’s in does not allow cell phones, but what is she doing? She’s using one! Without our telling readers she doesn’t care about rules, they observe this trait through her actions.

One more “beat issue” to avoid: do not use them after a tagline(speaker attribution), such as in the following example:

Wrong: “I’ll be back,” Jane said. She walked down the hall to answer the doorbell.

Correct: “I’ll be back.” Jane walked down the hall to answer the doorbell.

Use beats, by all means! But use them carefully and wisely, and write them in a fresh manner.

Till next week, everyone.

Beats, Part 1: Don’t Beat Me Too Much!

June 24, 2019 ~ Jack ~ 2 Comments

Many years ago, I visited a theme park. Though I can’t remember which one, I do remember this – a child constantly banging on a toy drum. I don’t know what his parents who accompanied him were thinking, but I know what I thought. Annoying!

Likewise, if we use too many beats in our writing, they can annoy our readers. Then again, if we don’t use beats, our characterization suffers. Just as a professional drummer in an orchestra or band knows when to hit his/her drum and when not to, we professional writers should learn when to “beat” and when not to. We must be careful to avoid “beating too much.”

What is a beat? It’s a character’s action/body language sprinkled in amidst his/her dialogue. Here are two examples. The beats are italicized.

Betty frowned. “I don’t like what I’m seeing, Carl.”

Betty bit her nails and paced back and forth. “Carl, I’m…I’m not sure we can get married.”

If beats come before or after every line of dialogue, though, they get irritating.

Look at this example:

Betty bit her nails and paced back and forth. “Carl, I’m…I’m not sure we can get married.”

“Why not?” Carl opened his refrigerator and got a bottle of water.

“Because I’m not sure I love you.” Betty stopped pacing and lowered her hands.

“What!” Carl slammed his refrigerator door. “I love you, Betty. You know I do.” He set his water on his kitchen counter.

“Well, I…er…” Betty stared at the cabinets behind him, her face twitching.

Carl stepped closer to her. “Are you seeing someone else?”

Betty let go a gut-wrenching sob. “No-o-o!”

As Betty’s and Carl’s dialogue continues with added beats, even though there is conflict, it gets tiresome to read.

Now then, let’s read this same dialogue without the beats.

“Carl, I’m…I’m not sure we can get married.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m not sure I love you.”.

“What! I love you, Betty. You know I do.”

“Well, I…er…”

“Are you seeing someone else?”

“No-o-o!”

No beats– the dialogue is thin and just lingers in the air. A beat or two would deepen it. A third example demonstrates this.

Becky bit her nails and paced back and forth. “Carl, I’m…I’m not sure we can get married.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m not sure I love you.”.

“What! I love you, Betty.” Carl grasped Betty’s hands, his blue eyes pleading. “You know I do.”

“Well, I…er…”

“Are you seeing someone else?”

“No-o-o!”

Learning when to use beats takes practice and also a sense of timing. Do use them in your writing, but don’t pound readers with them like banging away like on a toy drum.

Tag, You’re It! Some Rules Regarding Taglines

June 17, 2019June 17, 2019 ~ Jack ~ 2 Comments

Taglines, also known as speaker attributions, have one literary function. They identify which character is speaking. That’s all. Here are a few rules regarding their use.

1. Don’t use multisyllable taglines. A simple “he said/she said” is usually all that’s needed.

Reason: Multisyllable taglines, such as “he remarked” or “she insisted,” will jerk readers out of our story because they draw attention to themselves. When we use simple taglines, such as “said” and “asked,” readers tend to gloss over them. Thus, they “disappear.”

2. Don’t use adverbial modifiers, such as “John said angrily” or “Sue said happily.”

Reason: Well-written dialogue doesn’t need them. If John is angry, show that in his dialogue or if Sue is happy, show that in her dialogue. Dialogue, after all, is one of those ways we follow that old literary maxim “show, don’t tell.”

3. Sometimes we’ll need to use volume taglines such as “he shouted/she shouted” or “he whispered/she whispered.” When we use volume taglines, keep them simple.

Reason: Because dialogue is showing, not telling, it’s impossible to show a character’s speech volume. Thus, volume must be told.

4. Don’t use taglines with every line of dialogue.

Reason: This gets tedious to readers after a while.

5. Spend a lot of time getting to know your characters: what makes them tick, education, hobbies, personality, how they speak, etc. Writing their biographies is a good way to accomplish this.

Reason: If each character has his/her own unique speech patterns, pet words and phrases, and so on, this will help avoid overusing taglines. Why? Because readers will immediately know which character is speaking

A Final Thought: Do use taglines. Readers need to know which character is speaking. Just be careful when using them, and don’t overdo it.