In this post, we’ll learn a few ways to use the passive voice in our prose.
In fiction writing, an active voice sentence is usually preferable to the passive because the active voice is stronger.
Active Voice
The kitten (subject=doer of the action) scooted (active voice) up the tree (tree = object, the receiver of the action).
Passive Voice
The girl (receiver of the action) was hit (passive voice) by a tennis ball (subject=doer of the action).
How to Identify the Passive Voice
The object of the action sits in the spot where the sentence’s subject normally goes.
A linking verb joins the past tense of an action verb.
When to Write in the Passive Voice
Some writers believe we should always write in the active voice. However, cases do exist where the passive works better. Here are a few examples of that.
1. TO WITHHOLD INFORMATION FROM THE READER OR THE DOER IS UNKNOWN.
John was insulted in class.
The diamonds were stolen yesterday.
2. TO ADD VARIETY TO OUR PROSE.
Manuscripts whose sentences are all active move quickly and make for a fast read. This is particularly good to use in thrillers.
3. TO EMPHASIZE THE DIRECT OBJECT (THE RECEIVER) OF THE ACTION.
The puppy was bitten by the cat. (The puppy is emphasized.)
John was defeated by his younger brother in a track meet. (John is emphasized.)
Don’t discard the passive voice, but don’t overdo its use either. Instead, use it judiciously. About ninety percent of our writing should be active. However, as we saw in the above-mentioned examples, the passive voice does have a place in our prose.
A new devotional book targeted for writers has been released. I had the honor of being one of its contributors. If you are a writer and need encouragement, here it is.
Over thirty years ago, when I first started my writing career, my literary passion drove me to learn everything I could about the craft as fast as possible. One of the many ways I learned was through beta readers. Even though I now have numerous bylines to my credit, and several books I’ve either written or contributed to, I still use them. All writers do, including those who write bestsellers.
What is A Beta Reader?
A beta reader is someone who reads our manuscripts with an objective, yet critical eye. This person looks for such things as holes in our story’s plot, awkward phrasing, narrative inconsistencies, storylines that aren’t believable, poor characterization and dialogue, and similar things.
Beta readers are critical to our writing careers. We get so caught up in our writing that we can’t see our words objectively, whereas a good beta reader can. If we follow a good beta reader’s advice, our finished product will be more polished which, of course, increases our chances of finding publishing success.
My One Big Rule for Beta Readers
Notice that I said goodbeta reader. Not all beta readers are the same. From my earliest writing days, I’ve followed one rule: “If all a beta reader does is give me a pat on the back and say my work is good, I never let that person read another manuscript. If a beta reader gives little or no constructive input—again, I don’t let them read another manuscript.”
I’ve always been strict about this. Pats on the back without useful input does not help us writers improve. No matter how advanced we are in this craft, we always have room to get better.
Fortunately, as time has passed on, I’ve developed friendships with good beta readers. Unlike my early years, I no longer need to “test-drive” them or seek them out. Nowadays I rarely have to implement my rule.
Honest Feedback. Good beta readers aren’t afraid to tell writers what they honestly think about their manuscripts. If they don’t like it, they’ll not only say they don’t, but they’ll also say why. They’ll word their opinion in such a way that it doesn’t kill a writer’s dream. Not only will they point out a manuscript’s weaknesses, they will also applaud its strengths. In other words, they offer a balanced opinion.
Encouragers. They share a writer’s literary dream and want him/her to succeed. They will encourage, motivate, and congratulate authors when they get published. For me, my greatest joy comes when I see someone, whose work I have read and critiqued, get published. I appreciate that person’s sacrifice and hard work to achieve their goal.
Knowledgeable. Most good beta readers are serious writers either knowledgeable about the craft or are in the process of learning it through hard study.
Readers. I’ve also benefited from serious readers, particularly those in my target audience. A serious reader, by my definition, is someone who reads lots of books critically. They understand why they like certain books and why they don’t, and they can give solid reasons for their opinions. I once heard a librarian call into a radio talk show to comment on a certain bestselling book. A few days earlier, I’d scanned some pages of this same book at a store. The librarian and I shared the same opinion—bestseller or not, the author’s writing was amateurish. This librarian would make a great beta reader.
Understands Our Genre. Under the broad categories of non-fiction and fiction are different genres. Each genre has its own set of rules and characteristics. Beta readers who aren’t familiar with our chosen genre may unintentionally offer bad advice. My genres are historical fiction, short stories, and certain genres of magazine articles. If someone asked me to critique a science fiction manuscript, I’d be able to offer basic advice on writing style and technique, but that’s all I could do. I haven’t read much in that genre, thus I have little knowledge about the rules connected with it
Three Beta Readers to Avoid
Family. Family members are usually reluctant to give us honest input for fear of hurting our feelings or ruining a relationship. If we happen to have someone in our family who meets the five criteria I listed above, though, it is fine to use them. However, such family members are rare.
Friends Who Aren’t Writers. More than likely, these friends won’t meet the above-listed criteria, either.
Token Critiquers. Token critiquers read a manuscript, or maybe just scan it, and then make only a comment or two per page or per manuscript. Writers need in-depth critiques, not the token variety.
A Final Word
If we can find more than one good beta reader, then our finished manuscript will be that much better. If two or more beta readers make the same comment about our work, this is a sure sign that we’d better heed what they tell us and revise accordingly.
Finally, always thank your beta readers. They made some sacrifices of their own time to help you, and a little gratitude goes a long way.
My mother grew up in a small Alabama town called Brundidge. Many a time during our childhoods, my sister and I journeyed there with our parents. Sitting in our car’s backseat, we watched pastoral landscapes as we rumbled along narrow country roads. Corn and cotton carpeted numerous acres. Cattle grazed other fields. To alleviate our boredom and to keep us reasonably quiet, our parents invented a “counting cows” game. Whoever counted the most cows on their side of the car, till we reached Brundidge, won it.
I don’t know about my sister, but I enjoyed this game. And since I was born and reared in big-city Mobile, rural living fascinated me. No beeping cars, no sirens, no busy shopping centers as in my hometown. Just fresh air and peaceful neighbors. Also, my grandparents.
My grandfather’s gas station and Ford dealership stood on its main street. Oh, my mind forms wonderful images of my grandparents and this town! The memory that moves front and center, though? My grandfather’s walk with God. Little did he realize the impression he’d made on my young mind.
When we prepared for bed I always slept in my grandparents’ room. My bed stood against a wall opposite theirs. While snuggled under my sheets, my eyes followed my grandfather’s movements. He’d sit in his rocker near a floor lamp, its bulb shining through its opaque shade.
His Bible in his lap, he’d read God’s word. After a period of time, he closed the Book then knelt beside his bed. His mumbles drifted to my ears, and I knew he was talking with God.
Decades have passed; my grandfather’s influence remains. He inspired me to read my Bible and to know God. He never preached with his mouth. His life was a sermon. I’m sure he’d agree with the Apostle Paul, that I’m trying to imitate his walk of faith (1 Corinthians 4:15-16). Thanks to his example, he preserved his grandson from the pain of sin.
This and other devotionals are found in Reflections of a Southern Boy: Devotions from the Deep Southwhich is available on Amazon.
For many years during my writing career, I suffered from guilt whenever I took time off from writing. I needed to be at my typewriter (laptop) pecking away at the keys. What was I accomplishing in a literary sense if I wasn’t? On the other hand, what was I accomplishing by staring at my typewriter paper or my laptop screen all day, struggling after ideas and stories? Nothing, nothing at all.
I’ve since learned that little breaks are great for writers and that they’re not a waste of time. It’s how we recharge and get fresh ideas. Many a day I’ve walked away from my desk, my mental activity exhausted. Whenever I reach this point I know it’s time to do something different. Go for a drive, go for a walk, or take an entire day or weekend off. Get up from your work every ninety minutes or so instead of writing long hours on end. Nothing wrong with doing that, and I recommend it.
Therefore, don’t feel guilty about the times you don’t write. Look at it this way: even when we’re resting, we’re working. Why? Because proper rest contributes to greater productivity and helps us maintain our health.. Our writer’s brains and our bodies will be forever grateful if we take time to rest.
Augusta Jane Evans Wilson was born in Columbus, Georgia in 1835. A devout Christian, she became one of the 19th century’s most popular writers. Though many people today are unfamiliar with her and her work, certain colleges and universities in the United States are rediscovering her.
Her father, Matt Evans, was a businessman and planter. After he lost his fortune in the 1840s he moved his family to frontier Texas. During their journey, Miss Evans’s godly mother, Sarah, educated her and Augusta’s other siblings. Augusta possessed a keen intellect, a huge vocabulary, and a photographic memory. Except for her mother’s tutoring and having attended a formal school for a brief period, she was for the most part self-educated. In Texas, at fifteen years of age, she wrote her first novel—Inez, a Tale of the Alamo.
Unable to cope with the rough and tumble frontier life, Matt brought his family back east and settled in Mobile, Alabama. Here he found a job with a mercantile firm. He and his family lived in a small cottage, called Georgia Cottage, which at the time was on the outskirts of the city. It remains a private residence even today.
After Inez was published in 1855 she wrote her second novel, Beulah. Published in 1859, Beulah became a bestseller.
Augusta was an ardent Confederate, and this devotion led her to write her third book—Macaria; or Altars of Sacrifice. Due to the Union blockade of the South, most of this book was written on wallpaper. After its publication in the South, it was smuggled north to New York and published there as well. It became a bestseller and was so persuasive in defending the South’s cause that George Thomas, a Union general, banned it from his army. An editor friend in New York held the book’s royalties in a trust for her. Thus, after the Civil War, she did not suffer financially like most Southerners at the time did. Macaria was the only bestselling novel written during the Civil War.
In 1868 Augusta married Lorenzo Wilson, a businessman and one of the few wealthy Southerners who also didn’t lose his fortune. He survived financially because he had the foresight to make investments out of the South.
Augusta died in 1909, a well-loved and well-respected citizen of Mobile.
Sources
Evans, Augusta Jane. Macaria; or Altars of Sacrifice, edited with an introduction by Drew Gilpin Faust. Baton Rouge and London: Louisiana University Press, 1992.
Wilson, Augusta Jane Evans. A Southern Woman of Letters: The Correspondence of Augusta Jane Evans Wilson, edited by Rebecca Grant Sexton, Columbia, SC: University of South Carolina, 2002.
George Catlin, Green Corn Dance – Minatarrees, American, 1796 – 1872, 1861, oil on card mounted on paperboard, Paul Mellon Collection
In early America’s southeastern frontier, its tribes held an important festival every year to thank the Maker of Breath for their most important food staple—corn. Called the Green Corn Ceremony, the English-speaking settlers referred to it as the Busk Ceremony for the Native American word, puskita, which means “to fast.”
Choctaw, Chickasaw, Cherokee, Creek, and Seminole celebrated it when their corn first became ripe. Though these tribes’ ceremonies had a few minor differences, it was a time of renewal for all of them. What I share below is a brief, general overview of this ceremony’s rituals and events.
In every village, a sacred fire constantly burned on its central square throughout the year, and members also had their own personal fires in their homes. They believed their sins contaminated these fires. Thus, to renew their lives, these fires were put out on the ceremony’s first day after an opening ritual. Also, for the first day or two, the tribes fasted.
After the fast men drank a liquid concoction the settlers called the Black Drink, for its color. A sort of tea that resembled coffee, it was a purgative and a symbol of purification made from boiled yaupon holly.
During this time, everyone worked hard to clean their village and homes and repair various structures. The square was swept to the point where it was immaculate, and it was kept that way throughout the festival. Old pots were broken. In the 18th century, they discarded or destroyed old clothes. In the 19th century, clothes and other things were repaired.
Another facet of the ceremony included lectures from the tribal elders about right living, forgiveness, and behaving morally. Except for murder, all crimes were forgiven and the village’s members made amends with each other for the offenses they’d committed.
On the ceremony’s final day, a new sacred fire would be lit, its flame then carried to relight the fires in individual dwellings. Afterward, the Indians feasted, danced, and played games.
The festive day would end, and a new day would dawn with everyone renewed for a fresh beginning.
Born into a wealthy North Carolina family in 1754, Benjamin Hawkins later attended the College of New Jersey (modern-day Princeton) where he studied French. During the American Revolution, knowledge of this language served him well as George Washington’s translator until Lafayette arrived to perform that duty.
In 1778, he served in North Carolina’s House of Representatives. Between 1783-84, and in 1787, he was a delegate to the Continental Congress. In 1789, as one of 271 North Carolina delegates to the Fayetteville Convention, he voted to ratify the United States Constitution.
When he won an election to the United States Senate in 1789, he helped negotiate treaties with the Cherokees and Creeks, two of the Civilized Tribes in America’s southeastern region. President Washington appointed him General Superintendent of Indian Affairs, serving the tribes south of the Ohio River, in 1796.
To carry out his new responsibilities, Hawkins moved to Georgia and settled on the Flint River. For many years, he lived with a woman named Susan Lavina Downs and finally married her near the end of his life. Some historians believe she was Creek, though there is some disagreement on this. Together, they had seven children—six daughters and one son. During his time as an agent, he learned the Creeks’ language and became a respected member of their tribe.
When Hawkins received his appointment the deerskin economy of the Indians was coming to an end. He sought to “civilize” the Creeks by persuading them to turn to farming and cattle herding. However, these tribes were already farmers, so he encouraged them to learn how to use white men’s farming tools, such as plows, and white men’s methods of raising crops, including such commodities as cotton. He likewise wanted the women to learn how to use spinning wheels and do other things white women did. He was, in essence, trying to make them American in the hope that they’d eventually give up their culture and give their land to the white man.
THE CREEK WAR (1813-1814)
When the Creek War broke out he helped organize Creeks who supported the white settlers against those who did not (Red Sticks). He was also present at the signing of the Treaty of Fort Jackson in present-day Wetumpka, Alabama, which ended the conflict.
Take us the foxes, the little foxes, that spoil the vines: for our vines [have] tender grapes—Song of Solomon 2:15, KJV
“Little foxes” are sly literary critters that often sneak in and spoil a well-written piece of prose. As writers, we must stay vigilant against them. Sometimes they’ll pop on our pages while we’re writing. Other times, we’re unaware of their presence.
Little literary foxes are words we overuse, such as so and that. Many times, we don’t need them.
Let’s look at the word that.
1. John thought that Billy played golf.
This “little fox” in bold weakens the sentence’s impact.
2. John thought Billy played golf..
This sentence, without the word that, reads smoother and stronger.
A good way to identify when this word is unnecessary is when it follows a verb. In such cases, that usually isn’t needed. TIP: Read your that sentences without using it. Is your writing still clear? If it is, delete that.
Let’s look at the word so.
1. So, John sees you can cook.
This word is acceptable in dialogue because people often talk this way. However, I wouldn’t use it in narrative exposition.
2. John
sees Mary can cook.
This is much smoother and natural.
3. He lifted the bucket so he could dump out its contents.
This sentence is fine because so is used as a conjunction.
Let’s be careful not to overdue these words. If too many sneak into our work, they can spoil our writing.
Unidentified Choctaw girl, on a tintype. Oklahoma Historical Society.
The Choctaws, like the Creeks, Cherokees, and Chickasaw tribes, are matrilineal in nature. This means that a child’s inheritance passes through the mother instead of the father. Before Andrew Jackson’s Indian Removal Act (1830) exiled Choctaws and other Alabama tribes to Oklahoma, the Choctaws lived in southeastern Mississippi and southwestern Alabama. Today, some Choctaws remain in Mississippi.
The men and women had separate, distinct roles in their culture, and the women were the heads of households.
Choctaw Women’s Roles
Childbirth
Pregnant Choctaw women were deeply honored in Choctaw society, for childbirth was their most important contribution to it. When they went into labor they would go to a secluded place where, without any assistance, their child would be born. Although husbands weren’t allowed to be present anywhere near her during this time lest harm befall him or the child, they did fast for their wives.
Farmed, Cooked, and Stored Food
If one visited a Choctaw village before the 18th century, he/she would see three types of farms.
First Type: A garden, planted in March, beside individual families’ houses.
Second Type: A communal farm. Here, crops were planted in May. Women worked together while tending its crops.
Third Type: Pumpkin and melon patches.
As the centuries rolled into the 1700s, the Choctaw started adopting the White man’s style of farming by learning to use plows and raising their crops as an individual family instead of as a community.
What sort of crops did they grow, cook, and store? Corn was a staple. Also squash, watermelons, and sunflowers, just to mention a few.
Made Clothing
Women tanned the hides of animals, such as deer, to make clothes for themselves and their family members. They also used fabric made from such things as buffalo wool and milkweed.
Before the White man came they wore wraparound dresses, skirts, and blouses made of these animal skins and fabrics. With the coming of the White man, they eventually moved away from this and wore cotton clothes.
